sigh

sigh..
i embarrassed myself and my cca today.. aiyoh.. Went for cross-country after hockey training.. So i was like already damn tired but thats besides the point. I was running behind Ryan and i was going strong as in i wasnt tired.. I was just doing my stuff when my trailing leg catches something sticking out of the ground. I took a hard fall and strained my ankle and from then on i had to limp back eventually finishing last. I was PATHETIC. i felt like shit cause i was not only representing myself but hockey aswell. So yeah i feel like shit. Chelsea is playing later. Hopefully they can give me some solace.. however in the mean time i needa think of a way to tell the girl i like that i've fallen for her.. tiring stuff..

ummm... uh huh.. ahh.. umm.. DAMN>>!!

Well today was like the first official day of school with my new class. I cant say it was a disaster but it was rather boring. My class really tends to deviate to Chinese whenever possible and well they got a telling off from our GP teacher. There arent any of my friends in any of my lecture groups. Not shermaine not eileen not adarsh not johnathan and not even hari or raymond. The only person i regconised the whole day today besides people from my class was a girl whom i think is Shermaine's friend and then again i might have seen wrongly. Well i guess i just have to live with it. Well hanging around my class the whole day today i noticed some of the queer things they do.

1)The chinese scholars carry this electronic dictionary looking thing and the constantly use the dictionary function to get translations from chinese to english but what amazes me is that this thingy has a chinese keyboard(amazing huh).
2) Most of them brought their river valley year books ( guess what.. its in chinese)
3) They all have an overpowering urge to join MRC or Strategic games.
4) Some of them write notes or their to-do lists in chinese( i swear i saw some of my classmates' hand-phones progammed in chinese aswell)
5)They love physics and chinese but hate gp,chem and math
6)They wanted to have their class outing at room 5.11 so that they can play bridge.
7) They had no idea ACSIAN THEATRE was running west side story( their reason: they dont watch english shows???)
8) everyone in my class took higher chinese for the exception of myself and cheryl
9) The only thing they knew about football is that a person called david beckham exists. ( they think he still plays for MANU and they called chelsea.. (chleseh)..)
10) They really struggle speaking to me.

However they are all still a nice a bunch nonetheless but i still prefer my old class. Something else happened today aswell. This girl- Nicole guessed that i was from barker. I asked what drew her to her conclusion. She said i had the look- very tall and very skinny but altheletically built. I was like uh huh..Anyway Most people do guess my school correctly . They all guess that i am from ACS but when i ask them which ACS most tend to get it wrong saying that i'm from Independent but at least they get the ACS part correct. The hard part people have, is guessing which CCA i'm from. Here are some of the guesses i've heard.

1) Track and field ( i cant run fast-only long)
2) cross country ( i want to join)
3) Rugby ( WTF.. do i look like i can play rugby)
4) Tennis ( techinally correct but i dont play for school)
5) swimming
6) basket ball ( cant play that game for nuts)
7) soccer ( only like watching)
8) hockey ( i think only 2 guessed it right)
9) Debates ( only 4 people said this- one cause he has seen me receive award before- one seen me debate and they other 2 cause of the way i speak but unfortunatly i've seen the end of my debating days)

Interesting huh. I never knew i could fit into the portfolio of so many ccas but the most common guesses are always cross country and tennis. Which are sort of true. Argh i really miss my class.. i'm going to die of boredom sooner or later. i need to go out and really have fun as in with the people i really enjoy being with and not some messy outing. Argh. save me. I think i've fallen for her. DAMN>>

Indian expats- how included are they??

YAY.. my mum isn't pissed at me. she is pissed at my sis and my cuz. Well done to them. Today was one of the most random days i've ever had. I decided not to go for the class outing ( i'm not part of SA5 anymore didnt really want to feel like an outsider) but decided to go to lexi's house instead. She was like we havent met up in like 4 months so just come and study la.. I was like okay. When i reached her house. First thing she says to me

lexi: who do u think tastes better.. me or audrey
Me: umm.. i dont noe..
Audrey: I taste better
Lexi: u so do not. ( sticks her arm right in front of my face). I taste better.. just try.
Me: i rather not.
lexi: (grabs my arm and bites it). He tastes better than u.
me: wtf. ( wiping of her saliva)
Audrey: let me try
Me: nonono.. Or i'm leaving..
Audery: okay lets do work. Says softly: I taste the best

We actually did manage to do work after that. I managed to finish chem tutorial 4( now only lagging by 3 chapters). I was quite surprised that we actually didnt talk through out the whole thing. Amazing huh.

Anyways I read this article in The Sunday Times today. Indian expats: How separate are they?
Basically the article is about the rift between local indians and expat indians. The writer wrote that these indians cant integrate into Singapore because singaporean indians cant accept them due to the fact that they tend to live more wealthy. They dine at Rang Mahal live in districts 9,10 and 15. Shop at Mumbai se and what not. They say quote " i feel that the community doesn't actually like to interact or mingle with us in spite of my friendly gestures. There's a bit of warmth lacking"- Dr. Suchitr Kataria.

Now i personally found this hilarious. I'm a third generation Singaporean. My grandparents were born here, my parents were born here and i was born here. Its really very rare to find a third generation Singaporean cause most Singaporeans have grandparents who emigrated here.
But thats beside the point.I buy my clothes from BritishIndia. I dine at Rang Mahal or other restaurants like Vaanch or at Hai Tien Lo every fortnight. I live in district 15 and i know and i see many of these Indian expats. Yet most of my friends are chinese or indians who were born here. Now heres the interesting question- Why is that so?

I'll tell you why. Its not that we Singaporeans dont welcome u guys here. Its that u guys dont want to make yourselves welcomed here. I can tell you of the countless occasions when someone from india has told me i pronounce a word wrongly.They with their indain accents tell us we say stuff wrongly. No doubt our english may be peppered with singlish - but then again its all part of being singaporean. Then there are the times i hear an indian lady tell her friend that Singaporean Ladies dress indecently by wearing shorts out of the house and they'll heave a sigh of disgust. Now!- Its abt 30 Celsius out there and to be honest i think wearing shorts is far more sensible than wearing a sari with track shoes while walking around. Moreover Some Indian expats ought to learn that they cant always have things their own way .They piss off taxi drivers and even the cashiers at the supermarkets. I mean these people are human too. A smile and a friendly chat will do a world of good. Being stuck in your egoistic self-centered world where the caste system still prevails aint going to help anyone.

Now i'm not saying all Indian expats are that way. There exists a small minority of Indian expats who are almost Singaporean that u wouldnt know it until u see their passports. These Indian expats are hard to come by. They are however and rather unfortunately the minority. The first Indians that came to Singapore came as coolies and merchants. These Indians made an effort to integrate into Singapore- they fought for Singapore and they made a home in Singapore along side their Chinese and Malay neighbours. The new expats of today are no different . They are intellectual coolies here to work for the great multi-nationals that set base in Singapore. For those who make an effort to fit in.-We welcome you to our country but for those who think they are tooo good for Singapore. Honestly Please leave .. i mean it. Please do leave. Cause the next time i hear an Indian expat complaining that they could get something or that something is better in India or anywhere else, i'll be happy to direct you right to the airport and right onto the next air-india flight out of our inferior country where you can be intellectual coolies that you guys really are some where else. Now after reading this. Stop whining u guys. Cause if u wanna go caste system on me. I'm a Brahman so i beat u guys there as well. Cheers from a Singaporean.

Tra la la la

Tra la la la. Super bored and super stoned.. Tra la la.. I want to do something but my mum is running a prison camp.. I got her pissed at me today. Well... she kinda likes to screw up everyones weekend. This weekend sucks..no football.. no formula1.. nothing.. They should have a rule against weekends like this. Anyhows i was supposed to meet Eileen at one but i woke up at 12. I was really happy when she said she was tired and decided she wanted to take a nap. So i went to time my run myself and after abt one km i had a cramp. I was really pissed cause i should have warmed up properly. I went home and my mum was like blah blah blah again.. I tend not to listen. The whole day from then on sucked really bad. I mean it was really boring. I watched cartoons and more cartoons and more cartoons till i had a headache. So i decided i'd go play tennis and guess what... my mum suddenly remembered that i had a sprained wrist. For the whole week she didnt give a damn abt my wrist till i wanted to have fun.

Gives new meaning to the word-bloodsucker doesnt it. MSN doesnt seem to help me either. Everyone seems to be complaining about their new classes or in some cases their schools. I mean how the hell am i supposed to help if you went to NJC or RJC. Not like i can do anything and to all those people complaining about their classes, Anything and i mean ANYTHING is better than a class with nine rv( no disrespect to your school ). 4 han hua 3 cat high and 4 Bukit panjang govt. high school dudes and 4 scholars from china. Its like free chinese lessons everyday. I dont mind the language considering most of my close friends are chinese but i mean could they at least try to converse in english especially when speaking to me.I think sherm was the only one not complaining on msn today.

Sherm was like "you cant abandon me for your rv/nanhua/chispeaking friends ok". I'm like i should be the one saying that. U guys shouldnt abandon me WITH my rv/nanhua/chispeaking friends. Guys honestly please dont. I'll die.. i'm a hedonist remember... i strive on fun and pleasure. If that is taken away i'll honestly die. Argh.. Sherm suggested i go try neopets to cure my boredoom and u noe what?? Since i'm seriously so bored i'll just go do that...Tra la la la...

Debates

Went back to watch Barker debate today. They did fantastic. They won their 3rd straight debate although Bilias screwed up bad. He sholudnt really be on the team. We were ranked second behind plmgs on going into the quaters which was seriously a pity. It was rather unfortunate that CHIJ TP lost to SCGS. I was rooting for IJ but scgs were just too good for them. However IJ saint nicks beat NJC. My junior was very upset seeing his former team win and his current team get knocked out of the competition. So much for going to NJC. MGS topped the A'div ranking and i think they might end up winning it. All the debates and meeting up old friends really make me wish i had joined debates but well i cant do everything i want to. I miss the old days of preping for debates and the trainings and stuff but thats what caused me to divert away from my studies so i guess i should just be happy.

school

School school school.. i miss my old class. my new class is full of china scholars or river valley students who speak in Chinese. They tend to forget i'm not Chinese.. So i guess you get the picture... Hockey training was fun.. Ran 6km(too little really) and went to the gym. I never knew there was some maximum weight rule thing when lifting weights. Apparently the max i can lift is 150 pounds so according to this rule i should train with 80% of 150 pounds which is roughly 120 pounds. I had to lift 120 pounds which is almost my weight for 5 stations over 5 sets. So now my shoulder hurts. I cant fit into my class.. ARGH.. There is really nothing to look foward to in school anymore. Whats worst than being in a class where no one speaks in English. I miss SA5. Well have to go sleep to rest for another day of torment tommorrow. If only i wasnt a hedonist. Then maybe i could try to make the most of it.

perfect

Got my com back but only for abit. Today went perfect in every sense of the word. Mclaren did magnificent in Formula 1. Both drivers on the Podium. Chelsea also won... A smashing good performance from a team missing 4 first team regulars. 3-0 the final score was against Sheffield. Good Stuff. Played my mixed doubles match today. WE WON!!!.. 6-4 6-7(4-7) 7-5. My wrist is gone thats for sure. But i'm happy we won. Tomorrow school starts again. I'll miss 1SA5. Tomorrow a new beginning.. And what a way to start a new beginning with a winning weekend.

A fine farewell to 1SA5 i leave with a phrase from William Makepeace Thackeray the novelist of vanity fair. ( my personal favorite)

The play is done; the curtain drops,
Slow falling to the prompter's bell
A moment yet the actor stops
And looks around to say farewell.
It is an irksome word and task:
And when he's laughed and said his say,
He shows, as he removes the mask,
A face that's anything but gay.”

I leave with a final farewell. We take our bows. We were 1SA5..

WTF

No damn mood to blog. My mum wants my com and i've only been on it for 10 mins. My wrist is sprained from that hellish training and i ask for a pain killer or some sympathy and i get a lecture on the evils of the computer. My mum probably thinks its some tool of the devil so i mean what the F**k right.

"the superiority complex"

Today went for class outing. Woke up at 7.45( really early for me) and went to kallang to go to Bedok so that we could take a bus to ECP. Went to have breakfast and then went to ECP. Everyone cycled but i had to string my racket. I cant play with destroyed strings can I. So then i met Eileen at Paya Lebar then we walked form there to ECP and then wandered around finding the rest. We talked about all sorts of nonsense from politics to socio-economic issues to random stuff. There was bowling alley at ECP but everyone wanted to meet Zi Yun so we went to marina square to play bowling but the place was full so we just ended up eating at burger king. While waiting for the bowling guy to call, the girls were talking about their cookies and God Knows What and Mingle, colin and Yx were talking about WOW in chinese so i decided to leave with elieen and shermaine. I think the rest went to play bowling eventually.

Reading todays newpaper(The Straits Times), Eileen pointed out to me this article on the review page titled "Why the superiority complex?". It is a very interesting article i recommend everyone to read. Its basically an article written by a Malaysian journalist about us annoying Singaporeans and how we verbally attack the nearest Malaysian on how much better Singapore is everytime we cross the BRIDGE. Its also on how we fail to enjoy the basic freedoms they enjoy such as littering, smoking, chewing, laughing, smiling, flicking and eating hawker food that actually tastes good. The article basiclally takes a bash at Singapore and the stuff we pride ourselves on.

After reading the newspaper article and considering it was from a Malaysian newspaper( New Straits Time). The article probably helped the newspaper by showing its readers that it is a stout defender of Malaysia. In Malaysia there seems to be a simple rule in politics when it comes to Singapore. Anyone who attacks the Republic gains credibility as a stout defender of Malaysia. It was the same when Singapore's MM Lee Kuan Yew commented on Malaysia and Indonesia's ethnic Chinese minorities. Singapore was used as a whipping boy by Malaysian politicians to show their 'loyalty to Malaysia' and they naturally demanded an apology from MM Lee without taking into account the numerous occasions they used Singapore as a bashing board with us keeping mum.

The author probably failed to notice that even though we may be denied simple rights such as chewing and spitting it is for the benefit of the majority and he also probably failed to notice that we enjoy equal rights regardless of race or religion which is as much as I can say about Malaysia and their Bumiputeras. Ultimately we would all assumably be lying if we said we can live without Malaysia and they without us. When u think of Malaysia... If we ever find time to think of Malaysia (Yeah we're too busy enjoying our Beautiful, Green and Clean Singapore) . The first thing that comes to mind is, "isnt that the place with the fake stuff" which is as much as i can say about them...

Tennis at last

Adarsh made it.. John Heng made it and Tim Fang made it.. YEAH!!.. all of us back at AC.. really happy adarsh made it.. then now i wont have to hear his nonsense about how we are from different schools and blah blah. Played my tennis match today. My doubles partner christopher and I played against my cuz and his double partner andrew. We were the favourites to win. But things dont always happen they way it should. In the first set we took a commanding 3-1 lead but we were interupted by the rain and when it continued we went 4-1 up and from there didnt win any games. we lost the first set 4-6. The match took a 15 min break as the court was dried. We resumed the second set. We once again took the lead this time a 3-0 lead. Then as things would have it, I slipped on a wet part of the court and buckled my knee. We went on to loose that set 4-6 aswell. The last set was disasterous as every game went to a duece we lost every game and got thrahed 0-6. It was interesting to note that i was completely out of sorts.

Even the audience and that mega hott chillean girl noticed. At least she noticed. I was really short on match fitness. My service lacked pace, my backhand lacked accuracy and my forehand lacked power. The only thing that worked for me were my drop shots. They were awesome. I've never seen them come out so beautifully. Even my stamina seemed to have deserted me. never after only 2hrs of playing have i felt tired but today i really couldnt move around as fast as i am used too. Maybe all that skipping training to go out and all those cokes are getting to my system. But most importantly i realised today that i was disastracted. Distracted by what someone said. I kept on thinking about what she said through out the entire match and it must have been very obvious cause even chris' sister noticed. I think what was said is causing that wierd feeling inside. honestly.. But i'm too happy to care or am I...

Bored

Today was boring. Didnt do anything. I had planned on going for tennis but fell asleep at 2 and I woke up after training started which was about 6 plus so i didnt end up going. watched chelsea versus tottenham. What a match. 3-3 in the end. Suprisingly at the points when chelsea was loosing i wasnt upset or angry. I'm too happy for that. I still feel extremely bored. I cant find a good quality book anywhere. Argh. I feel screwed up inside for some reason... i havent a clue why. I've got the holidays to figure it out. I hope the holidays are nothing like today.

ECSTATIC

I AM SO DAMN HAPPY....I got accepted back into ACJC. Just when i had given up all hope. I really thank GOD. I really do. It came as a complete shock to me. I just had given up hope and had brought cash to buy my uniforms. Then Abraham messages me and says that he got into SA and i was devastated. Right after that message i got a call and thinking it was abraham i thought of rejecting the call but i decided against it and answered the call anyway. It was ACJC. I was really ecstatic. I jumped up in front of the whole assembly and just shouted my head off and ran out.

I went for orientation. I was mega on. We went to settlers for our OG outing. it was fun playing taboo especially with vijesh.. His accent rocks. Honestly. A good pure Indian Accent. then went for campfire and did the mass dance and did more mass dance. Had to run around the field shouting i love AC but i didnt do it properly and sherm wasnt there so i'll have to do it again. Its all in good fun. I'm supposed to have a party but i dont noe when i'll end up having it.

Watched Jaurasic park with my cuz today but i really wanna play tennis. Havent touched my racket in a month. Going to watch Disney on ice later.

Looking back at everything now, i really, honestly have to thank God. Its by his grace that i'm back at ACJC. I look back and i realise how much a week can change a person. I have turned over a new leaf and will work hard and i mean it. There will be no more slacking from me. I really also thank everyone who hoped and prayed for me getting back into AC. THANK YOU GUYS and more importantly THANK YOU GOD. I will work hard and do both ACS(BR) and ACJC proud.

I dont really have anything to say. I have given up hope of getting back to ACJC. It really hurts but i think i can cope. I wonder why but i dont blame God. He has his plan and to be honest i think i have become a better person in the process. It took some battering but i have become a better person. I will miss AC. I really will miss Eileen and Shermaine. They were there helping me at every fall, Shermaine for always saying the right thing at the right time to prevent me from doing something stupid and eileen for teaching me and making a better person. i will miss them and i want to thank them for being there for me. I thank all those people who were there for me, who prayed for me. I'm apologise to you but i cant take it anymore. i give up.

I have let too many people down. It is time i pay my dues. God give me strength.

Crazy

WTF.. Today was disasterous. I woke up and nearly had a heart attack. I know that sounds cliched but its true. I got posted to my last choice JC even when i could make it for all my other choices. Screwed up huh. Went to ACJC to appeal and then went back to barker to get the principal to appeal on my behalf. He didnt tell me whether he was going to do it. But he did give me a scolding and told me to write my achievements down. That took a while and it irritated him slightly but i guess its okay. He has power to send five boys into ACJC. Its like charlie and the chocolate factory. The 5 boys will receive a letter on gold paper and the paper is like the golden tickets into ACJC. BUT... if he doesnt decide to send anyone in, then we are all quite screwed. Really.

Went to meet the rest of the class at heeren after all my appealing. We ended up walking around. The girls shopping and the guys stonning. Shermaine and i bought kinder surprise. i got some kind a cart and sherm got a tree. The girls continued shopping. but as far as i can remember i dont recall any one of them buying anything. When everyone went home, Sherm and i tried to walk form Taka to Plaza Singapura in 50 mins. So we walked really slowly, took longer routes on purpose and we just talked about all sorts of random things while walking really really really slowly. We managed to get there in exactly 50 mins.

Mann i really will miss them. I pray for my appeal to be successful but whatever it is i'm trying to prepare myself for the largest culture shock i'll ever receive.

last day???

The fifth day of the third month of the year two thousand and seven. I'll remember this day till the day i die. Today, i completed ten years and 3 months of an ACS education. Everyone asks me: What is so great about acs. why do u love it so much. Is it just because of the name. I am sick and tired of hearing that question. Not many people can understand. But i'll you why. It is about the friend next to you that you have grown up with since you were 7. The friend who knows your first crush, who knows your most embarrassing moments, the friends that u laughed and cried with. Its about the song that you sang in your happiest and saddest moments in your life. The bible verses that you build your life around. The meaning of the best is yet to be. The weekly chapel and the colours red, blue and gold that u become synonymous with. And that is what it means to be an acsian. Not many people can understand and neither do i expect them to do so.

I shouldnt be giving up hope yet, appeals start tmr. If i give up now, Eileen will kill me for not being positive. So we'll see how it goes by the end of next tuesday. Wish me luck. All in all, today was fun. In econs, i adopted a pet rock. Its name is STONE but Shermaine made it into a girl by drawing a skirt on it. During GP, shermaine and I sneaked out to buy lollipops to eat in class. I forgot how good lollipops taste and during mother tongue( which i dont take anymore) Eileen taught me how to make paper cranes. I have to say i sucked real bad at first but i eventually got better. Then after chem prac when everyone was saying their farewells i started crying. It was really embarrassing when i think about it now. Well even guys can cry right. so yeah.... The girls took more photos and then isabel, jocelyn and myself went for our OGA meeting. They made us shout our lungs out by cheering ac cheers. It was retarded but kinda fun. A real emotional roller coaster ride today. Seriously.

what a fun way to end my probable last day.

And i leave with the verse that means alot to me : Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight
Proverbs 3:5-6

Photos

Today could be my second last day as an acsian. However lets not think abt it. My class went bonkers today. We took millions of photographs and personally it was more like a final farewell. However i shldnt give up hope. I read this article today in national geographic. This man, borge ousland from denmark walked a staggering 1240 miles across the artic from canada to russia and the most amazing thing was that He did it ALONE. On day 12 of his journey, his sledge carrying his supplies got damaged. But he didnt give up. he continued in the freezing temperatures of -42 degrees fahrenhiet. On day 42, he injured his ankle but yet he continued and after 82 days he completed his journey. His story taught me a very important lesson. he taught me to never give up even when it all seems hopeless, he taught me, TO NEVER GIVE UP.

Here are some photos we took( double click on the photo to enlarge): My whole class All the guys in my class. Yes there is only 6 of us.
some strange pose .
all the guys tao poking(not sure i spelt that right) din
defining what 1SA5 stands for :SEXY ALWAY5
Shermaine, Jocelyn , Myself, Eileen

ACS FOREVER

If i have to go i'll really miss u guys. It brings tears to my eyes thinking abt leaving . Eileen says i have to be positve so in that case i'm staying...

Founders day/class outing

Founders day was boring it was exactly the same as the 11 previous founders days i attended but acjc gave out too many awards that dragged the ceremony. I didnt cry but there were tears forming while singing the acs anthem at the end. The class outing was fun. we went to crystal jade at holland v. i ordered a plate of fried rice. When the order came, i nearly died. It was like 3 plates of ordinary chicken rice into one. i actually managed to finish it and after that i had to help eileen and bryan with their dumplings. Then we all went to rachaels house. While like the rest of the class played poison ball or smthing like that, i taught eileen how to play pool. she picked up quite fast for a beginner. Then we played a mixture of basket ball/captains ball. my team lost so we had to do a forfeit. we had to hop like bunnies around the basket ball court. i decided against playing again so i went to join gay buddies to play more pool. we played like 2 games and went to k.a.p for dinner along with shermaine. The place was like invested with students form HCI. I mean what ever happened to the days where KAP was full of the ac barker guys and mgs girls. well i didnt get into any fights so i guess it was okay.

Not really having fun at home. my mum is pissed at me for some reason. come to think of it she is almost always pissed at me. So yeah. Today could be my first and last time wearing the acjc uniform. GOD give me strength. help me get back into acjc.

Me being mega stonned and mega tired after founders day and after wondering round in the rain. ( cant remember who took this photo but its somewhere in the canteen)